The year of 2010 is coming to a swift end. Like the recent years before it, it has meant a lot of change for myself, loved ones and the world. This time last year, I was desperate to shut the door on 2009 and I was not alone. How did 2010 fare? Well…
My friend David labels his year as “The Year of…” and it seems like a great idea. In an attempt to capstone my year the way he does, I’ve been mulling over a word to sum up the experiences and it’s not an easy task. I’ve narrowed it down to a few choices, listed below:
The Year of Gratitude or Reverence
This year, I learned to be grateful. The thing I am most grateful for is my grandmother. As many of you know, I was raised by my grandparents in some unique circumstances. When I was young, I could not wrap my head around my grandma and we fought constantly. This morning we had a rousing discussion about the differences between BBC new US news. We are starting to “get” each other, finally. There is a lot of love between us. My reverence for her is so apparent that everyone who hears about her wants to meet her. Who can blame them? She’s awesome.
The Year of Vision
This year, the Geek Girls began a great tradition of creating Vision Boards. A lot of people have come to me, asking about Vision Boards. Obviously, I did not invent them; there are probably ancient vision boards scrawled on caves throughout the world. People are curious and I suspect it’s because, as we grow older, we forget how to dream. Vision boards give you an opportunity, even an excuse, to start dreaming again.
The Year of Commitment
This year, the Geek Girls and I built a goal-setting group. Once a month we get together to talk about our goals, set up milestones, troubleshoot and support one another. In the process, we’re discovering what our true priorities are and, many of us, what our hearts want most. In the process, it became clear that I never truly understood what commitment really means. I also discovered that being committed is what pushes you to keep moving forward, even when things seem dire.
The Year of Heart
None of the above is possible without full awareness and ownership of one’s deepest desires. When you are not fully committed, it shows. Your intentions, your integrity, crack and splinter and you do not follow through with your commitments, even as your inner voice shouts, “But this is what I wanted!”
It’s ok to break commitments when you’re heart is not in it. The trick is, learning the lesson and knowing yourself so that you stop making commitments half-heartedly. The people in your life want all of you in your life. When you look them in the eye, they want to see your real self. When they hug you, they want to feel your heart beating. When you say you love them, or that you want to see more of them, or that they’ve hurt you and you need to clear the air, it needs to be said with conviction and total certainty. Without knowing what’s in your heart, how can you supply that?
This year, I dragged my heart out into the limelight. Kicking and screaming. It would be silly to say I discovered who I am and what matters to me most within a 12-month timeframe, but that’s how it feels. For the first time in my life, my daily choices are an answer to, “How does this affect my vision of a joy-filled life? Does this build it or erode it?” As a result, I go to bed each night with full awareness that I’ve lived in accordance with my own vision or to accept that I have not and will be lucky to wake up tomorrow to try again.
Au revoir, 2010!